“You can bend,” my attorney said,” without bending over.” Man, do you know how much that pissed me off!? “But, why should I give an inch, I’ve supported and nurtured my child, I’ve done the right thing, I’ve loved my child!” ” I know,” he said, ” but just try to be less adversarial and militant.”
He was right. Dealing with a sick, screwed up co parent is one thing(not my situation), but two fundamentally good people CAN be in conflict, especially when they both feel their role as parents is threatened.
And an adversarial approach in that situation is counter productive. I sucked up my fear and hurt and tried to deal with Lily’s mom in a way that would reassure her that I was only trying to insure that OUR daughter has a good, meaningful dad and that I was NOT trying to interfere with her God-given place as Lily’s mom. Damn, if it worked.
She’s responded, being very cooperative and supportive of my role in Lily’s life. I mean, dude, she has even offered me extra time with our angel on occasion. Praise the Lord.